I am saddened to read an article that CNN published concerning the tragic response of the US Family that returned their adopted child to his native country in Russia as though he is a misbehaved puppy that was purchased at a neighborhood pet store. Artyem, a 7 year old Russian boy was recently adopted by The Hansen family. At the time of the adoption, I am sure that the intentions of the family were high in enthusiasm and expectation of what the future would hold for the new addition to their family.
These feelings are not foreign to any family that has embraced the idea of a new family member, the expectations are typically grand. These expectations are not anchored in the maternal delivery of these children, but anchored in the maternal acceptance of these children becoming a part of a greater life for everyone. There are hundreds of thousands of children delivered maternally and adopted throughout United States every year. Children have always been a blessing to the culture and liveliness of our communities and families.
I have never met the perfect child, nor have I met the perfect family. Children grow into their understandings and expectations. They are not born with the cognitive dissonance to make decisions that would meet adult expectations. Furthermore, newborns start from zero and adopted 7 year old children start from the experiences of their past 7 years. In many cases adoptive children have encountered more tragedy within their early lives than the adults that are adopting them.
As a parent, I am saddened to even think that a child would be treated as though they are a return to sender item, like a piece of bad mail. The hardship faced by any orphaned child should never be prejudged or assumed as being minimal. It is an open heart that adopts these children and it should be an open mind that cares for them.
While I am sympathetic toward the concern and safety of any family, I am extremely protective of the welfare and developing minds of children. I do not believe that any child would want to hold hatred or threat toward the delivery of love unless the circumstances of their lives have convinced them that love is unattainable or would bring about more hardship.
As I have stated in my past articles, circumstance is a liar. The adults that choose to adopt the children of this world should strive to prove this to be true. The hearts and lives of adopted children depend upon their success in this proven fact just as much as they do. I would like to commend young Artyem for getting on the plane, landing in Russia and finding the proper authorities to assist him. This had to have been one of the most frightening and rejecting events of his life. In comparison of measure between life experience, age, knowledge, wisdom and hope, there are adults that have crumbled from less rejection, a few of them placed him on that very plane.
Keep your head up Artyem. Love does exist in this world...
How do you feel about what happened to 7 year old Artyem or the importance of love and realistic expectation within an adoption?
I'd like to know...
Russell Mosley
Positive Share LLC
http://www.positiveshare.com
Positive Share offers a creative approach in Personal and Leadership development through illustrations that encourage those thoughts and ideas that impact life through wisdom and experience.